Finding Joy in Transition: Melinda French Gates and Ava DuVernay on Aging, Purpose, and the Power of Little Moments
Life is a constant flow of change and transition. As we navigate different decades, careers, and personal milestones, we're shaped by the moments that make us. In a recent insightful conversation for her series "Moments That Make Us," Melinda French Gates sat down with acclaimed filmmaker Ava DuVernay to discuss these very themes, offering profound perspectives on aging, finding purpose, and cultivating joy amidst life's shifts.
Embracing the Journey of Aging
Melinda French Gates, approaching her 60th birthday, initiated the conversation by reflecting on the concept of transitions. Ava DuVernay, who recently turned 50, shared her unique perspective on aging milestones. Unlike many who feel anxiety around hitting a new decade, Ava revealed she's never placed much weight on the number itself.
"I know a lot of people have a lot of complicated feelings about turning 50 or a decade change," Ava noted. "It really has never been anything that I put a lot of stock into."
However, she did acknowledge feeling a subtle shift around the age of 50, describing it as a "natural evolution." This transition has led her to feel "more grounded," "caring a lot less about things that don't matter," and "more focused on myself and not feeling that that's selfish." She sees aging not as a decline, but as a process of "growing older," continuing to "evolve and unfold and just embracing that blossoming."
Ava's perspective on aging was deeply influenced by the women in her family – her mother, her aunt Denise (who raised her and passed away from breast cancer in her 50s), and her grandmother (who passed at 89 after struggling with dementia). Observing their lives, marked by both challenges and resilience, has shaped her view of what lies ahead. She understands that life brings turbulent times, but emphasizes the importance of "an awareness and being grounded in who you are, no matter what situation you find yourself in."
The Courage to Change Course: A Career Transition
One of the most significant transitions in Ava DuVernay's life was her pivot from a successful career as a film publicist to becoming a filmmaker. Melinda highlighted the enormity of this shift, asking what gave her the courage to make such a move.
Ava explained that it wasn't a calculated career move or a desire for "greatness." Instead, it stemmed from a simple, powerful urge: she just wanted to "play with film." She wanted to tell specific stories and bring certain characters to life, without any expectation that it would become a full-time profession or even pay her bills.
"There was no expectation of it ever being a thing, a career," she stated. "It wasn't a design on a career... I was making films because I wanted that film."
This passion and genuine interest in the craft itself, rather than external validation or traditional career paths, fueled her transition. She didn't see many Black women making films with the "pace and scope" of her white male counterparts, so there was no pre-existing blueprint to follow. Her journey was driven by an internal desire to create, making the leap feel less like a risk and more like a natural extension of her interests.
Finding Your "Liberated Territory"
Ava spoke about the concept of "liberated territory," a term she learned from her filmmaking mentor, Haile Gerima. This is a place, physical or internal, where you can go to be fully yourself, free from external pressures and expectations. For Ava, her company, ARRAY, serves as a physical manifestation of this idea, a space built with a community of people dedicated to independent storytelling.
However, she stressed that this liberated territory doesn't have to be a physical space. It can be found internally through practices like mindfulness, meditation, or simply taking time to be quiet. This quiet space allows for grounding and an "accounting of what has happened," a moment to "just to let things go on a daily basis." This practice, she says, has "added so much to my life."
Advice for the Next Generation
When asked for advice for younger women navigating their own transitions, Ava offered a powerful message: "You don't have to follow tradition." She challenged the conventional wisdom of asking young children what they want to be when they grow up, arguing that it can put people "in a box" and reinforce a "certain way of doing it."
Instead, she advocates for a spirit of exploration and embracing change. "You're never gonna be that one thing only," she advised. "You're always changing, and to embrace that." This applies to careers, relationships, and all aspects of life.
She also emphasized the importance of passion and curiosity. "You don't have to know it all," she said, "You just have to care about it, and you have to be open." Being open allows you to receive messages and insights from the world around you, whether it's from a friend, a stranger, or even a marketing slogan on a billboard. These moments of synchronicity, or "Godwinks" as Melinda's parents call them, are "there for all of us," if we have the "space and bandwidth to receive it."
Cultivating Joy in the Everyday
Finally, Ava shared a simple yet profound practice for experiencing joy: acknowledging and speaking it into existence. She often says to herself, "I enjoy this," referring to small moments like looking out a window or feeling the comfort of a couch. These are moments of being fully present, not thinking, but simply *being*.
These "little moments," she explained, are like a "string of pearls" that can "adorn your life." While the "big stuff will happen," it's the cultivation of these small joys that truly enriches our experience. By identifying and acknowledging them, we build a life filled with presence and appreciation.
Melinda French Gates and Ava DuVernay's conversation reminds us that life's transitions, while sometimes challenging, are opportunities for growth, self-discovery, and finding deeper meaning. By embracing change, following our passions, creating space for ourselves, and acknowledging the small moments of joy, we can navigate our journeys with greater presence and purpose.
© Article by Adama Toulon - written with Ai